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The Next Chapter With Thivya for Family & Carers

Written by Thivya | May 16, 2025 10:26:34 PM

Loving someone who misuses alcohol can be overwhelming, heartbreaking, and isolating. You may feel stuck in a cycle of trying to help while quietly suffering — navigating shame, guilt, confusion, or even fear. Coaching for Family & Carers with The Next Chapter with Thivya is a space designed specifically for you — the partner, parent, sibling, adult child, or friend — whose life has been affected by someone else's drinking.

This service offers structured, compassionate support to help you regain clarity, confidence, and emotional stability — while learning how to support your loved one in a healthy, sustainable way.

Understanding the Family Experience

When a loved one misuses alcohol, it can turn your world upside down. Many family members describe living on high alert, constantly managing chaos or walking on eggshells. You might try to fix things, smooth things over, or protect others from the impact — often at the cost of your own wellbeing.

This is a heavy burden to carry. You may ask yourself:

  • “Why won’t they stop?”
  • “What am I doing wrong?”
  • “How can I get them to see what they’re doing?”

These questions come from love — but often lead to exhaustion, resentment, and burnout. Coaching supports you to shift the focus inward. You begin to ask: What do I need? How do I want to live, regardless of their choices?

Key Areas Coaching Covers

Letting Go Without Giving Up

Letting go does not mean abandoning your loved one. It means stepping back from trying to control or fix their behaviour, while staying emotionally connected and available — from a place of calm, not crisis. This shift creates space for change to emerge naturally, rather than through pressure or panic.

Encouraging Independent Recovery

You may want desperately for your loved one to seek help — but true recovery must be self-directed. Coaching explores how to encourage this without rescuing, nagging, or enabling. You’ll learn to speak with compassion and assertiveness, planting seeds rather than pushing solutions.

Boundaries and Assertiveness

Clear, consistent boundaries protect your mental health, rebuild your confidence, and prevent resentment. Coaching will help you:

  • Identify what’s no longer acceptable
  • Communicate limits with respect and clarity
  • Follow through with consistency, not threats
  • Avoid overexplaining, guilt, or escalation

Boundaries are not punishments. They are acts of self-respect and emotional safety — for both you and your loved one.

Supporting Without Losing Yourself

In the chaos of alcohol misuse, family members often neglect their own needs, passions, and identity. Coaching helps you:

  • Reconnect with who you are beyond the crisis
  • Make space for rest, hobbies, and joyful connection
  • Reclaim mental clarity and emotional regulation
  • Practice guilt-free self-care and self-compassion

Responsibility Returns to the Person

Families often unconsciously take on the consequences of the person’s drinking — emotionally, financially, or practically. Coaching supports you to return that responsibility with love. You are not abandoning them; you are empowering them.

A New Way Forward: Family Connection, Not Control

This work doesn’t mean distancing yourself entirely. Many families stay connected in meaningful ways — with boundaries and emotional clarity. Coaching encourages:

  • Honest, open communication without blame
  • Family time that isn’t dominated by the issue — walks, meals, art, board games, new hobbies
  • Creating a home environment rooted in calm and consistency, rather than chaos and control
  • Approaching the problem directly, with compassion and assertiveness

You don’t need to pretend the issue isn’t there. You also don’t need to fix it. You can face it with strength and integrity.

Guided by Al-Anon-Informed Principles

Coaching draws inspiration from approaches used in Al-Anon and similar family recovery models:

  • You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it
  • Focus on your own growth and healing
  • Practice detachment with love
  • Allow the person to face consequences without rescuing
  • Stop enabling in order to truly support

These ideas are explored in a grounded, practical way — tailored to your family’s unique situation and emotional dynamics.

Helpful Resources for Families and Carers

To further support your journey, the following apps and websites are valuable tools many families use alongside coaching:

Online Communities & Support Groups

  • Al-Anon Family Groupswww.al-anon.org
    Offers worldwide peer support, daily reflections, and online/in-person meetings.
  • SMART Recovery Family & Friends – www.smartrecovery.org/family
    Science-based support for families with practical tools and online meetings.
  • Soberistassoberistas.com
    A supportive, women-led alcohol-free community — also helpful for family members.
  • Reddit: r/AlAnonVisit here
    Anonymous discussions and shared experience from families all over the world.

Apps

Books & Daily Readers

  • “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie – Understand and begin healing from codependent behaviours.
  • “Beyond Addiction” by Foote, Wilkens & Kosanke – A kind, evidence-based approach to helping loved ones change.
  • “Courage to Change” – Daily meditations from Al-Anon that offer clarity, perspective, and peace.

Taking the Next Step

At The Next Chapter with Thivya, you are met with empathy, practical guidance, and a deep understanding of how alcohol misuse affects the whole family system. This coaching supports you to:

  • Reclaim your emotional stability and identity
  • Set healthy boundaries with strength and compassion
  • Care for yourself without guilt or shame
  • Stay connected without enabling
  • Explore your next chapter with confidence

 

You don’t have to wait for someone else to change to begin healing. You can start now.

📩 To book your free consultation, email me at:
hello@thenextchapterwiththivya.com

Please Read: A Note on Physical Dependence

If a family member or loved one is physically dependent on alcohol, it can be dangerous for them to stop drinking suddenly. Withdrawal symptoms such as shaking, sweating, anxiety, nausea, seizures, or confusion can be severe and require medical attention. In some cases, alcohol withdrawal can be life-threatening.

If they’re drinking heavily on a daily basis, or they have experienced withdrawal symptoms before, it is vital that they speak with their GP or a local alcohol support service. Medical professionals can support them with a safe, supervised detox or gradual reduction plan, and help them begin their recovery with the right safeguards in place.